Archive for September, 2011

September 28, 2011

Long day, Wednesday

Today is one of the longest days I have experienced in 2011, and it is still Wednesday.

Broke and broken, I wonder how this can end, but I refuse to give in to exhaustion.

Today I spent a good part of my day at the hospital, trying to figure out what is wrong with my little boy. He has been sick a couple of times this month alone, and I am one step closer to pawning my soul to the devil so I can just purchase his medicine. Those lab tests were costly but they are for a good cause. So I guess that evens things out.

My son is still sick, by the way. The doctor told us to buy a couple of meds to help him recover. But like I said, nobody is interested in purchasing my soul. Haha maybe tonight or later.

Now it is 5 p.m. and I still have to figure out what I can do to cough up food for dinner. LOL

Like what my friend, Pebbles, tells me, I have to be prepared for all these emergencies and what not. I have to be like the Girl Scouts, ever prepared. I look back on her wise words and reflect…. of course, I just have to say to myself, “why didn’t you listen to Pebbles?” It’s okay. More lessons learned. Must. NOT. Repeat. Must. Learn.

Anyway, upon taking a good look at our refrigerator, I think I can manage dinner. There are some scraps here and there. Haha Just kidding! No scraps, thankfully, something that can be put together into something decent.

Image from CartoonStock.

Another thing that I have learned from Pebbles is an interest in cooking. She always whips up these delicious things that she posts on her food blog, and I would just like to learn more recipes or just learn to cook more.

So right now, I have sayote, some meat, a carrot, onion, and garlic.

I love Google. That is why I just typed in the ingredients and found a recipe for Ginisang Sayote. LOL That is with the exception of the carrot, but who would really mind if I throw that in there, huh? Cooking is akin to experimenting!

Therefore, somebody will experiment. Provided that it is still edible in the end!

Wish me luck in my experiment. I hope this goes into my compiled list of recipes. Haha

Also, I hope your day was a good one as well.

September 26, 2011

To be, or NOT to be

I believe that the road to healthiness is sometimes marked by bipolar tendencies. But that’s just me.

Today I went for an early jog because I pledged to myself that I will live a healthy life. Just as I finished warming up, drops of rain started to fall and since our fantastic oval is not domed, I got to enjoy fresh air and rain.

Then I thought, Ah damn it! If I get drenched in the rain, there is a chance I would get sick! … I should go home… nah, it cost me gasoline to get here and I already warmed up! I should just jog.

And jog, I did… more like walk, really.

A quarter of an oval away, the downpour came a little strong so I started jogging… please note that I am NOT in excellent shape.

*huff* *huff* I must get to the starting line! I must.. I must… I must.. *wheezing*

*walking* *wheezing* I can’t do this anymore!!! *wheezing*

Nooooo…! I will jog because this is for my own good!

*jogging* *huff* *huff* Lord, kill me now..!! Pleaaaaaase… *huff* *huff* *wheezing*

*walking* *wheezing* screw this! I’m going home! My legs hurt! *wheezing*

No! No! No! Think positive! You can do this!!!

*jogging* *huff* *huff* Mommy!! This hurts…! $@#$!@# No more! No more! No more! *huff* *huff*

*walking* *wheezing* WHAT ARE YOU? A MAN OR A MOUSE? JOG! NOW! *huff* *huff*

*jogging* *huff* *huff* *huff* This will be the death of meeee… *huff* *huff* *wheezing*

… (you get the idea) a few rounds later ….

*gasping for air* Now that was not so bad.. even with the drizzle… Now the sun is up. And you are alive! Yay me! *gasping for air*

See? Now this back and forth mood makes me believe that when you are trying to be healthy, this attempt to make yourself think POSITIVE is marked by possible bipolar tendencies. I’m not saying you will be bipolar in the end, but don’t you agree?

As for myself, I do believe that it is part of working out because if you do not have a Jillian Michaels to motivate you, you pretty much have to do it yourself. Overall, I think it was good that I did not back down or go home when the rain started, or when I felt like dying. At the end of the day, I guess it is a question of “to be motivated or not to be motivated?” Or something like that.

Anyway, it is a good start. Don’t you agree?

Good job, self!

September 22, 2011

Think Positive

Warning: entry dictated by train of thought… no editing of course.

I think, by some miracle, these numerous blogs that I have squirreled away have a purpose. These blogs are like nooks and crannies that some how offer solace whenever I want to rant out loud without the world knowing about it. Still, it pays to have some sense of belongingness, that way you can safely say, these are my thoughts.

Censorship is a pain in the ass. At least for me, anonymity holds a certain appeal… but for some reason it also shows a bit of cowardice. But can you actually say a person is a coward because he or she prefers to keep her thoughts to herself?

At any rate, dwelling on the bad things that are happening in your life are just roadblocks you are setting up for yourself. Now isn’t that rather pathetic?

Well now. Let’s not go down that road.

A recent blog post by preacher Bo Sanchez discusses how people can either have a BREAKDOWN or a BREAKTHROUGH. He states that a people feel pain in various stages of their lives, but it is not the pain that matters, but how people react to that pain. More like stress with Fight or Flight responses. In a way, I guess it IS that.

Now I’ve been having numerous conversations with myself over the past few days that have more or less pushed me to the edge. The question now is whether or not I will fall or fly? Breakdown or Breakthrough. I simply refuse to breakdown. I’ve brokendown a zillion times in the past, and I’ve come to a conclusion today that breaking down is not an option. Breaking through is the only way.

I guess I just ran out of people to talk to lately that all this thinking has gotten me crazy. Sure, I have a lot of problems right now, but there is only one way and that is up. So here we go.

I’ve also missed blogging. Blogging lets me get out all these feelings that I have kept inside. Journalling usually works, but you know how typing gets these thoughts out faster than you can say FAST FOOD!

I started writing this post as a rant. I had complaints in mind.

Somehow, mid-rant, I noticed that I was about to launch this tirade or blast of “oh, woe is meee…” but I stopped myself. *very good self!*

The only way to counter negativity is to think positive and be thankful / grateful always.

So thank you, blog, for being there for me. And thank you, reader, for reading up to this part.