Archive for ‘Not-So-Happy Endings’

February 2, 2015

Emptiness, Exhaustion, and Loneliness

Ever find yourself in the midst of a sea of people, nursing a goblet of Coke spiked with Chivas Regal, while traditional Khmer music blasts through the speakers? Everybody around you is boisterous and alive. Speaking in a mixture of languages, laughing, talking, taking selfies.

It is easy to smile and laugh. Feign enthusiasm at posing for pictures, at the same time making your way down the whisky bottle.

Hours of work put in to look pretty, yet all the makeup in the world cannot quite hide the exhaustion and emptiness your eyes show. The weariness of nights spent crying, tossing and turning, and the restlessness cannot be hidden by tons of foundation. Although sometimes smiles help. It takes a keen eye to spot the forced smile, especially on one who is so adept at smiling through the pain.

Neither music nor dance can help take the emptiness away. Although the presence of friends who care about your puffy eyes every morning helps a lot. Then again, they still cannot quite erase the pain or fill the emptiness fully. A little does help anyway. Thank you, friends.

At the end of the day, you crawl back to bed first before attempting to remove the makeup. Exhaustion is overpowering. Loneliness ensues. And somehow, you begin to feel so lonely that you actually hear crickets in your head.

*Sigh* what a life. What an existence.

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January 8, 2011

Fat chance, Cindy!

I like Cinderella, I really, really do.

But fat chance that I would get an ending just like hers!

Besides, I already have my Prince Charming. He is already King! Did I tell you that?

Today, my friend A got hitched. She got on that white carriage and rode it to the nearest beachfront resort and had a judge legally tie herself to a man. Her Prince Charming, of course.

I was invited, so naturally I went through my chests of dresses and came up with three supposedly presentable frocks. Unfortunately, my King said one was short and scandalous, while the other was long and it guaranteed the bride would have some serious competition. So we settled on the third one, which came from Indonesia aboard those trading boats.

My glass slippers were borrowed by somebody I could not remember, so I had to contend myself with black shoes that looked as if wedges were attached at the bottom. Still, I had to use what was available because my King and I are going through some penny pinching moments.

Oh the wedding was a wonderful feast! They had two roasted pork on spits, pork wrapped in some kind of skin, and layers of cheese and wheat. It was wonderful!

Unfortunately, sometime between the walking around, chatting, and having portraits taken, I think I must have twisted my foot. One of the wedges loosened, and my thigh muscles tightened up.

Good Lord was it painful!!

I could not very well sit at the corner and wail about my predicament, so I sent for a carriage to carry me home.

Limping slightly as I passed through the gate, I tripped on a stone and *oomph!* the wedge came off! I never even got to reach the lobby of my castle!

Ugh. My calves still feel sore. My body feels sore. My face feels numb. What’s worse is that my shoe is in an irreparable state! Those were my last good shoes, and now … what do I do? What would Cindy do??

I have to go now. My calves are really killing me. My back is killing me, too!

That’s one for age, and one for mishap! I don’t think I will be Cinderella after all.

Good night!